Monthly Archives: July 2014

A Statue Through Time

I looked at the little statuette in my hand. It was my grandma’s. I didn’t really know her too well cause she was locked in Toronto General but she took me to the park once. I was just 5, but I remember it quite well. She took me to the park and pushed me on the swing and we had ice cream. I had my favorite, chocolate with vanilla sprinkles and she had pralines and cream. Then we sat on the park bench. She hugged me and we looked up at the clouds. After, my mom came and picked me up, but I came to nana’s house a couple of times. Her home was really nice and all, small and narrow, opening up onto a dead end street. Every single time she showed me something new, Soviet coins, Indonesian carvings, but the last visit was the most memorable.

She showed me a little soviet figurine, a blue-eyed ceramic figurine with an orange dress and all. But what really got me was the story behind it. Nana explained how this ceramic figurine came into her possession. It all started in a dreary apartment on the outskirts of Moscow. Her family wasn’t what you called well to do, but they made ends meet. She always wanted a ceramic figurine, but her family couldn’t afford it. Every single birthday she asked for one and finally on her tenth birthday she ripped the wrapping paper eagerly to discover an elegant porcelain statuette. Then, life became real tough for her.

Her dear father died, and after the funeral the two of them sold everything they had, just for the boat tickets. Her mother asked her to sell the figurine, but after those tears in Nana’s eyes she relented. They were only allowed one tiny black suitcase on the boat so they left several unsold clothes and packed the figurine. After, the two made it overseas, and settled in Toronto. And then came my mother and eventually me.

I always wanted to visit her in her home, but it was that phone call that stopped me. The hospital called my mom and told her that Nana had leukemia and survival was unlikely. We saw Nana in the hospital room. She tried all her best to smile. The figurine was sitting on the counter next to her. I wanted to talk to her, but she fell asleep. We returned a couple more times, but every time her condition worsened. On our last visit she smiled and said, “Take it, I don’t have much time left” in the sweetest voice ever. I thanked her before my mom told us to let her rest. On the way out I waived to her, only to see her eyes close one last time.

Then the hospital phoned my mom and explained our loss. There was a funeral and all, but I stayed home. I sat in my bedroom, sobbing. I took the figurine out of the box and looked at it. Her golden locks of hair, the gaze of her blue eyes. I put it upon the windowsill.

Every day, I look at it remembering the amazing times I had with her, she will always have a place in my heart.


Winter in my Heart

It was winter in my heart, in my life
I was on the boat, a party on board
But friends turn foes
I wait here on an island, blue trees, snow pattering
I look onto the sea
The ice is slowly retreating
But my binoculars are foggy, my compass not to tell north from south

Not to tell if the saviours were from the north from hope or from west foes
He lies until the man in a white suit leaves, leaving a maiden wearing a green dress
She wipes the fog off and leads him uphill
He looks from the hill and he can see a small skiff coming towards him

He gets dressed only for the lady to leave and white flocks to come down again, the boat vanishes

Winter’s Last Blow

The sun shivered high in the clouds
It tried to spread it’s magic
But winter’s army forbade it

Below in the tundra lay two lovers
The night was theirs, so was the day, theirs’ to lose
With nothing more than an overcoat, joint and a box of matches
Shivering in winter’s guffaw

They lit the joint
And the remaining matches were kindling to the flame
But the winter wind is harsh to the blaze

Where was their love, so vivid and pure, the emblems, a fresh scent of a rose, the harp’s song and the rugged texture of a shell, found in the parks, palaces and canals of this great city?

It was here from a flicker came a flame; alas war destroys love, lust and life
They fled east from Peter’s gem to the tundra where they are; the horses are gone

The more they inhaled, the more they danced under a chandelier in the golden palace, frolicked through rose gardens in spring and relished the moments spend overlooking the Neva, ships are sailing, but these aren’t harbingers of death, but missionaries of peace: aboard, the Lord and his helpers, missionaries of commerce: explorers with gems from the Orient and missionaries of love, a couple looking up the river, a path ahead, crystal clear like the water

They are frightened, they shiver and shake; they are only human
They scream “Anna and Alexander” and the echo brings them into the storm

The death of youth and life
They are no longer on earth’s stage, but in Zeus’ realm
No longer in the play of life, but eternal members of love’s game

They hold hands, smile and walk into the storm, into another world.

My Love

I stroked the dove in your golden locks
And smelled the rose between your breasts
And rubbed the vines around your legs

My love, my beauty, my desire
I call to you
“Esmeralda, Esmeralda”

And gaze at your land, palms and roses
And at the island inside those emerald eyes
A land of eternal beauty and youth

The sun naked and shivering atop your isle
Covered by robes of endless clouds
The wind tries to chill my soul

But my soul is a café at noon
I exclaim, wait my dear while I get the matches
I began rubbing the matches and a flame is lit
I set it on the sandy cove with my eyes into yours

Until the wind with its chill
Blows out the inextinguishable flame

We try again but the wind does not approve
I pull up the anchor; get into my skiff, wave and set sail

Here I write amid the shake of the stars and the navy blue sky
Here I think another fire will be lit but alas I can only think about yours

Night Vision

The stars shaking
The dim blue sky
The moon’s magic illuminates the endless realm of night
The sea of tears
The cries of the wind chill his soul

He remembers her cries
And her golden locks of hair and wide curvy hips
Sinking in the sea

He reached for her but her road is at the end.
Her corpse lies in the depths of Neptune’s realm
She is shivering with the others in the vast sky

He is distraught, this move of love never to be forgotten in the game of life

He calls to her “Aurora, Aurora, my dearest, you and only you, the only breasts I’ll ever touch so gently, the only hand I’ll ever hold so tenderly, the only flame that will light, an inextinguishable flame”.

He hears the echo believing it’s her and seeing a light glimmers in the water, he swims to her.

The night sky is fuller and brighter the following evening.

Inside Out

The grandioseness washed away, the derelict churches, shantytowns across the hills, those hungry, those thirty, those lying in those dirt filled streets

I ask one of them, veins popping out, life sucked out of him

He responds the tide changed from the words of ancestors, the good and the evil lies in the Cerro Rico in its silver veins

The beauty Pedro says is that a sILver road, the sun radiating across the bridge, spanning to the heart of Madrid could be build, the vastness of silver that lied here

The disgust is that the journey back could be on bones and skulls; a testament to those who died there and those who die as we speak

The city has changed from a small Spanish colonial town to a city, shantytowns across the edges but inside those mines, deep under the skin of Cerro Rico clocks never spin, only the silver veins now bleed aluminium but the men still bleed blood so much they rarely see past a half century

I leave Pedro, the lucky one

I walk in the rain, in the cold. I look to right and see Cerro Rico but my intuition leads me astray into the city’s Grand Cathedral away from that vicious cycle that plagues the city, the tide that will never arrive.

The Call of the Sea

The glitter of the sea has always allured sailors. Many, many years ago, there lay a great ship mercilessly tossed in the sea of tears. On the stern lay a great admiral dressed in a blue jacket with a pocket next to the heart. However, he was subdued by their beauty, by their glances and by their songs. They sung so beautiful, so melodically. He felt entranced and eventually fell of the deck. In the water, he opened is eyes for an instance to be met by the beautiful, lime green eyes of a mermaid. She left him there on the shore.

Several hours later his fellow men came and found him. She listened closely as he said I remember my saviour, her lime green eyes, her diamond crown. If I can’t find her there will always be a void in my heart. She looked up to him only to find him looking to another. As the siren came he caressed her. The green-eyed girl left.

She then heard the song, the siren song again. She rushed to the beach only to find blood seeping from his ears. She lay there immobile on the beach. If one visits the beach they will find the mermaid’s crown on top of the admiral’s jacket in the heart pocket. She was always his queen in life and in the afterlife. And of the siren you can hear the waves hitting the shore, bringing you closer to the sea.

Driving By

The city


It’s citizens lost souls

It’s buildings there to stand the test of time

They want to leave the hate from here, but life doesn’t have second chances

They are cold, grumpy, bitter

Even the places meant to have bliss have none

The amusement park, rotting away, the paint pealed,

No kids running around, Smiling and screaming

The toy store, doors closed

But in that pain that suffering comes a miracle for so few

The lucky people they say

Selling all they can to leave

Sacrifice now, success later

They sell what they can, wave goodbye and move on

Driving on this path to a new home, to a new city, to a new life

Rain or Sun?

The tears of pain were sowed in her eyes by her own mother
A daughter’s hate

The seeds in the ground
A place of pain and suffering
But then the seeds come out of the ground intertwined
Rising higher and higher towards the sun

They are happy now basking in the sun
They have not faced the harsh downpour of the rain
Laying blissful, blissful with other flowers.
But then the rain comes down and the door opens

She looks into her mother’s eyes
It rains hard on them, the pain of yesterday brought back to life
She looks into her mother’s eyes, tears, reconciliation.
Her mother smiles and the two hug

The hard rain turns into a drizzle before vanishing leaving a marvellous rainbow, the sun rays, the white fluffy clouds
But the rain is gone, never to come back.

My Lover

I wish I could lift her up towards the sky into the stars
Onto this long road
Girl, I know I’m a dreamer but be a believer

Come onto this path with me
Us two holding hands walking

When the path meanders ever so slowly through the valleys and mountains it’s for pleasure, a straight path means business
Walking on this path with you, my lover
When this path widens someone new enters this world, narrower someone leaves this world

But we still walk together whether smiling or sobbing, whether just us two or 3 or four or five
We still go up mountains, down valleys, the ups and downs of life

Where we go exactly I have no such certainty but I known with certainty the end will be on a mountain peak, the sun setting, us awaiting our fate until the full moon comes up.